Listen to Your Heart

Do you sometimes struggle with making decisions over which you feel conflict? At some time or another, all of us do. When we are in this position, it’s helpful for us to be able to discern what our intuition is telling us. That is why it’s important for us to learn how to listen to our hearts.

There’s a vivid picture of this in the movie, The Sweetland. Lars, the protagonist, is conflicted over whether to sell a large tract of North Dakota farmland that he has inherited from his grandparents. On one hand Lars stands to walk away with 2.2 million dollars from the sale of this property. This is the decision Lars’ wife seems to want him to make. On the other hand, this land represents the beautiful and resilient love between Lars’ grandparents, a couple who defied stereotypes and community opposition to their marriage because she was a German mail order bride in a post-World War I setting. To top it off, Lars’s grandparents are buried on that land. As Lars agonizes over whether to sell this property or not, he comes to a decision by listening to his intuition, his heart.

How does a person do that? Read More…


How You Can Reach Your Unreachable Star

Do you have a “star” that looks impossible to reach, but you know deep down in your heart that you can reach it? This was the case for Coach Doug Wilkins. Forty-four years ago, he had the dream of leading his high school football players to consistent victories. How did Wilkins fulfill his dream? In the past two newsletters we’ve discussed the first two ingredients of Coach Wilkins’ recipe for success: commitment and leadership. What is the third ingredient that led the Mountain Lakes High School football team to 8 state championships and 25 consecutive winning seasons?

The third ingredient is Read More…


If You Hope to Win, You Won’t

There’s no doubt about it, everyone wants to be on the winning team. Some of us have the idea that if our team is more talented than the other team, or if we’re lucky enough or having a good day, we’ll win. But is that true? Does winning just happen?

Not according to Coach Doug Wilkins. Forty-four years ago when he coached his first football season and lost, he realized he’d better come up with a way of winning, or else! What components are necessary for winning? In the last newsletter we discussed the foundation to winning: commitment. The second factor Coach came up with was Read More…

Commitment: The Cornerstone of a Winning Life

How do you take sixty to seventy high school guys with widely differing degrees of athletic ability and mold them into a winning football team? That’s what Coach Doug Wilkins of Denville, New Jersey did for forty-four years, winning twenty-five consecutive seasons from 1985 through 2009, along with eight state championships.

Coach Wilkins didn’t start out that way, though. With a losing first season, he knew something needed to change. This is the first of three newsletters that reveal what Coach Wilkins discovered over the course of his career as a football coach, strategies for winning that can be applied to every area of our lives.

To begin, Coach Wilkins realized he needed a vision. Did he want to Read More…

Stop Kissing Frogs!

The change began with a homeless man in a San Diego park. My friend was talking with various homeless people as part of a Heart of the Samurai exercise, when she looked into one particular man’s pale green eyes. His eyes took her beyond his filthy clothes, the stink of his unbathed body, and his uncut matted hair, because in them she saw a human being. As she spoke with this man, she came to see that he had fallen into a pit of illiteracy, alcoholism and emotional problems that, as of yet, he hadn’t been able to climb out of. After this encounter, she could no longer judge a homeless person, and later when her own son struggled with drug addiction her perspective changed even more. Every homeless person she drove by could be her son. Read More…

Clarify Your Intention to Get Results

Often, people who have been exposed to the concept of intention confuse it with will power. As explained in chapter 2 of If How-To’s Were Enough We Would All Be Skinny, Rich and Happy, intention is not will power. Will power comes from the conscious mind, or head.

Whenever there is a conflict between the subconscious, the heart, and the head, the subconscious will always win. If you say an affirmation with the conscious mind such as, “I am a millionaire,” but your subconscious is saying “Money is scarce,” the results in your life will Read More…

Increase Your Intention Through Visualization

In a recent newsletter we talked about making commitments in order to raise the level of intention and reach our goals. Another way of increasing intention is visualization. If you doubt the power of visualization to do this, then go to a car lot and stare at your dream car. It will not take long before a sales person comes out and asks, “Can you see yourself driving this car?”

Now tell him “No,” even though you want the car! Most likely the salesperson will simply go back inside without further conversation. Why? Because he knows that Read More…

What Do Your Clothes, Car, and House Say About You?

We are all creatures of habit. We have habitual ways of brushing our teeth, of communicating with others, and habitual levels of risk we’re willing to take. But if we want to move forward in our lives, we have to break habits. A great way of doing this is to use psychological trigger devices.

A psychological trigger device is something that causes us to think, act or feel differently. An example I often use is Read More…

Three Disciplines of a Compassionate Samurai

As a graduate of Klemmer & Associates and one who practices the art of being a compassionate samurai, you understand the importance of maintaining a sharp edge on your thinking. This is an ongoing journey that requires several disciplines. Here are three things you can do to hone your life.

Cultivate Relationships: We become like the people we spend time with, and maintaining relationships with those who are like-minded — whether friends and family members, compassionate samurai, or businesspeople – can’t Read More…

Two Facets of Leadership

There are two very different facets of leadership: doing the right thing and doing things right.

What is the right thing? A right thing is something that is in alignment with a person’s purpose. The difference between having a significant life and a successful life is knowing what your purpose is and how it fits into the greater scope of the world.

Moreover, it’s important to be clear about your purpose for the day. For example, if you receive a phone call it may be a nice call to take, but it may not be the right thing because it doesn’t fit in with your purpose for that day. A lot of things can be good. But good things are not always the right things.

Read More…